When asked to characterize their experience of marriage preparation, the most common response among America’s readers (33 percent of respondents) was “very positive.” Kate Murray of Arlington Heights, Ill., was one such reader. “We met with the priest who helped us see past the wedding and into the marriage,” said Ms. Murray. “We spent lots of time recognizing that we won’t always see eye to eye and then discussed positive ways to work together.”

Thirty-two percent of our reader sample said their preparation had a “very positive” effect on their relationship in the long term—a number that appears to correlate with the proportion of readers who had a “very positive” experience of marriage preparation. “Marriage preparation improved our relationship outlook,” said Alisa Powell of Chandler, Ariz. “Our Engaged Encounter weekend definitely gave us more tools to discuss issues in our relationship in a healthier, more loving, more respectful manner.”

Only 9 percent of our reader sample said they had a very negative experience of marriage preparation. These readers gave various reasons for their disappointment. Jena Thurow-Mountin of Collegeville, Minn., told America that her course lacked the idea that the church should “support married couples beyond the wedding day.” Ms. Thurow-Mountin added: “Marriage preparation is a fantastic opportunity for evangelization, catechesis and pastoral care—our diocese dropped the ball on this opportunity.”

A large contingent of readers gave various neutral (17 percent) or mixed (somewhat positive: 21 percent; somewhat negative: 11 percent) characterizations of their marriage preparation. Tom Lavin of Baltimore, Md., noted that due to “the instructors’ reluctance to go off script at all, the course really didn’t help us deal with issues.” Lesley Geldart of Cleveland, Ohio, also described her marriage preparation as neutral. “The approach seemed to be, ‘Let’s figure out every disagreement you might have in your marriage and solve them before you get married.’ But that’s not how married life works. What matters in marriage is unselfish love and communication. Not who takes out the garbage or even where you’ll go to church.”

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This article appears in July 242017.