Disciples I Fear

We might not say it outright, although unfortunately many of us do, but we are often not convinced that so-and-so is a true Christian. We might know the person well, by public reputation or just by name, or we might not know the name of the person at all who bothers us, or worse, with their words and behavior. From a friend’s Facebook post came this comment about a Catholic politician: “You can’t be Catholic if.... And this is one of those if’s.” Thank goodness we can now determine the state of a person’s soul on Facebook.

Yet the 2015 social media response is similar to the one Paul evoked when the Christians “were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple.” Now it is true that when Paul was creating fear in the hearts of the Christians of Damascus and Antioch, they had good reasons to fear him. Paul was a persecutor of the church who had officially aided in the killing of Stephen. How could they be sure Paul was not intending to trap them?


There are, frankly, reasons to mistrust certain people because of their behavior and beliefs; and even forgiveness, the heart of the church’s mission, does not mean someone should be restored to positions of authority or trust in the church or society. But we do need to ask ourselves how we are judging people within the church, our brothers and sisters, or those outside the church, called to be one family with us, and whether it is the product of true discernment or simply gossip, fear and bias.

In many and various ways, we question the reality or sincerity of our brothers’ and sisters’ beliefs and actions, sometimes because of actual bad behavior, sometimes because of incomplete information and sometimes just because we do not like that person.

Our judgment, in fact, is often about God’s grace and its ability to transform and convert even the most hardened soul. Or we are judging on partial information or just a human propensity to prefer certain people over other people. Some people just bug us for no real reason.

Barnabas defended Paul, reporting that Paul had an encounter with the risen Lord, “who had spoken to him,” and that in Damascus “he had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus.” Paul had been transformed by God’s grace from a man willing to kill to impose his view of God, to one willing to be killed in order to evangelize.

Are we allowing that God can work in peoples’ hearts and souls? Paul was worthy of trust because he acted out the Gospel “not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” We are asked by God to “obey his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.” When we judge our brothers and sisters as not measuring up to the commandments, are we loving them? Do we judge ourselves with the same sharp eye for mistakes that we have for those of others? Are we praying for the conversion of others and ourselves?

There is indeed judgment. There can be no truth or justice without it, but we often set ourselves as the true arbiters of judgment, even if it is in the quietness of our hearts where we whisper condemnation of the “others,” however we may categorize and group them. But this is not our personal task. Jesus is “the true vine” and God “is the vinegrower.” It is God who “removes every branch that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit.” We have no need to condemn, for we do not know how God is pruning others or ourselves, preparing us to flourish in growth and fruitfulness.

God looks at us, whoever we are, at whatever point we are in our lives, however far we have strayed, and asks that we “bear much fruit and become my disciples.” Do not fear the other disciples; just attempt to become one more firmly rooted in the soil that nourishes us all, entwined with the vine and pruned by the loving hands of the vine grower. 

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Bruce Snowden
4 years ago
Multiple decades ago as a child the Sisters taught us when passing a Catholic Church men and boys tip their hats or caps, respectful of Jesus present within in the Eucharist, uttering a short prayer such as, “Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament I adore You!” Women and girls made the Sign of the Cross. If men or boys were bareheaded they would also make the Sign of the Cross. I still remove head covering, or make the Sign of the Cross passing a Catholic Church and unable to go in for a quick visit with Jesus. A steeple in the distance with a cross on top also evokes a prayer, mindful of the sacredness of which the cross and steeple remind. By the way, visits to the Blessed Sacrament are a great Faith experiences just as street reverencing is. Just as an aside for a moment, once on a visit to the Blessed Sacrament all I could do was fall asleep trying to speak with the Lord. I decided to force myself to stay awake by imagining I was forcing open the tabernacle door, but to no avail as sleep still won the day. A surprising thing happened as I dozed. Clear as a bell and wordlessly I understood the following thought experienced in my sleepy condition, “Come on in!” Startled and now a bit more awake and thinking that the Lord may have spoken, I asked still half asleep, “Where Lord?” Immediately the response came, “In the tabernacle with Me!” Immediately I understood that Jesus wasn’t just inviting me – he wants to be everybody’s best friend and he wants everyone to be his best friend too. Let me get back on point which has to do with respecting the Lord at work in others, including those who irritate. As an example out of respect for the belief of others not of my Faith, for a few years now even when I pass a non-Catholic Church be it cathedral-like, or simply a store-front version of a House of God, I bow reverently saying, “May the Word of God be glorified.” This because even though the Eucharist Real Presence of Jesus is not there, the Real Presence of Jesus in Word truly is! If I should pass a Synagogue there too I reverence that holy space calling upon Father Abraham and all holy Women and Men of the First Covenant to pray for us! Of late I have also begun reverencing Mosques bowing and giving praise to that holy place as I pass by, to Allah, the one holy God! All of this and more helps to get rid of fear. ,So this is one way I try to make tangible my love for everyone, avoiding judgementalism, leaving outcomes and all sisters and brothers in the hands of an understanding God. Of course this choice includes acceptance that in no way may evil be condoned, praying that everyone recognize there “Damascus moment” as Paul did when it comes. Answering the question about who do I pray for and respect, simply put, for everyone, fearful only of those lacking in Good Will. Who are they? Anyone who kills and destroys in the Name of God!


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