A Reflection for the Memorial of Saints Martha, Mary and Lazarus
Find today’s readings here.
“Lord, if you had been here,
my brother would not have died.
But even now I know that whatever you ask of God,
God will give you.” (Jn 11:21-22)
There are many ways in which we struggle to be in the world. We want to come off as laid back, not apathetic. We want to be seen, but we’re hesitant to share in a vulnerable way. We want to treat people with kindness, but we don’t want to be taken advantage of. Among these challenges, toeing the line between humility and confidence can be one of the most daunting. In moments where I’ve humbled myself properly, I don’t feel particularly confident. Similarly, when my confidence is overflowing, my ego can start to creep back up.
In today’s Gospel, Martha seems to hit the combination just right.
She acts with courage immediately upon hearing of the arrival of Jesus, taking the step to go out and meet him while Mary stays at home. Martha confronts Jesus after the heartbreaking and seemingly unfair loss of her brother, Lazarus: “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
She approaches Jesus in a way that I don’t know I would have been able to, even if I found myself in her same situation. It is a rather bold and daring way to speak to the Son of God. And yet, the more shocking statement in my mind comes next: “But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.”
There is so much grace behind her words.
She is willing to be forthright and bring up the uncomfortable topic, without letting any sort of rage consume her. She spoke honestly and directly, starting with what was on her mind. But she refused to let her grief shake her faith or allow her to act improperly. She was able to maintain her composure, affirm her belief in God and speak to Jesus in a firm, but kind way. That is no small feat.
Martha is known for hospitality, often referred to as the patron saint of cooks and domestic workers. In this reading, it is clear to me why she earned that title. She comes across as a person willing to do the hard work, address what needs to be addressed, get the job done—while still being someone people want to be around, because of her ability to act with grace and compassion. She seems to have mastered the art of making people feel comfortable.
I’m inspired by Martha’s approach to an uncomfortable conversation, by her ability to address what makes her upset without letting it overcome her. She serves as a reminder of how we should hope to address these kinds of situations in our own lives, with a focus on grace and faith above all else, without dancing around the important (and sometimes distressing) topics. And it is ultimately even more affirming, of course, to see her faith and composure rewarded in her brother’s resurrection.
Here’s to hoping our capacity to act with confident grace will always lead to “resurrections” in our own lives—of a friendship, a romantic relationship, a crisis of faith or even just a new perspective.
