The Astros’ stadium used to be called Enron Field. Enron? Was Usury Park taken?
God is tight with Vin Scully! (editor’s note: amended from blasphemous claim “God is Vin Scully”).
We're still reaping divine favor from Sandy Koufax refusing to pitch on the Sabbath.
In moving from Brooklyn (average attendance at Ebbets Field in 1957: 13,354) to Los Angeles (average attendance at Dodger Stadium in 2017: 46,492), the Dodgers are a continuation of what many scholars call the entire biblical storyline: Exodus to the Promised Land.
The Astros never moved from anywhere, but they used to be named after a Colt .45, that is, a pistol (God prefers slingshots, ’strohounds!).
Remember Kirk Gibson’s home run? “Mir·a·cle (ˈmirək(ə)l/); noun: an event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.”
Justin Verlander’s last name means “One who dwells on pasture land.” Guess who grazed his sheep on pasture land. Abel. And we saw how that worked out for him! In fact, you know who’s the only pitcher to throw a perfect game against the Astros? Matt Cain.
The Astros’ third baseman Alex Bregman went down to the crossroads a fortnight ago and sold his soul to the devil to have the kind of Series he’s having.
Los Angeles (“El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles”) is named in honor of Mary, the Mother of God herself. Houston, on the other hand, is named for a street on the northern border of SoHo, and no one even goes to that neighborhood anymore, it’s so boring.
That last line is a joke, you humorless bonesaws.
God wants the Dodgers to win tonight. Here’s why
Photo by Antonio De Loera.
Show Comments (
)
Comments are automatically closed two weeks after an article's initial publication. See our comments policy for more.
The latest from america
The two high-profile Catholics are among a diverse group of 19 individuals to be honored by President Biden for making “exemplary contributions to the prosperity, values, or security of the United States.”
Speaking May 3 on the need for holistic higher education, the pope said that some universities are “too liberal” and do not place enough emphasis on forming their students into whole people.
Manifesting techniques abound in the online world. But creators are conflating manifesting with prayer, especially in their love lives.
This week on Jesuitical, Zac and Ashley share their conversation with Cardinal Wilton Gregory—the archbishop of what he calls “the epicenter of division”—on the role of a church in a polarized society.