The Astros’ stadium used to be called Enron Field. Enron? Was Usury Park taken?
We're still reaping divine favor from Sandy Koufax refusing to pitch on the Sabbath.
In moving from Brooklyn (average attendance at Ebbets Field in 1957: 13,354) to Los Angeles (average attendance at Dodger Stadium in 2017: 46,492), the Dodgers are a continuation of what many scholars call the entire biblical storyline: Exodus to the Promised Land.
Remember Kirk Gibson’s home run? “Mir·a·cle (ˈmirək(ə)l/); noun: an event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency.”
Justin Verlander’s last name means “One who dwells on pasture land.” Guess who grazed his sheep on pasture land. Abel. And we saw how that worked out for him! In fact, you know who’s the only pitcher to throw a perfect game against the Astros? Matt Cain.
Los Angeles (“El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles”) is named in honor of Mary, the Mother of God herself. Houston, on the other hand, is named for a street on the northern border of SoHo, and no one even goes to that neighborhood anymore, it’s so boring.
That last line is a joke, you humorless bonesaws.
God wants the Dodgers to win tonight. Here’s why