Recovery

On the first day, I didn’t know
it was the first day.
The second, third and fourth passed.
And on the eighth day something
remarkable, but I didn’t tell anyone.
Remarkable, and I didn’t know.
I noted some markers like weekends
and seasons, anonymous months.
No one else attended every day of
the long long time but some noticed
the unclenching. Evening and morning
came, the 90th day. Some days later,
in an afternoon walk, beauty opened
and I inhaled. Religion preceded
and followed and did no harm,
but the weight of a carapace and
a quietly sober dream (Cain’s wandering?)
offered commentary on death.
So dying is essentially part of it,
not killing. And dying essentially
the most beautiful song.
After ten thousand days,
I knew the counting would never end,
but this interest in ordinary time sustains
itself in a still thirsty soul.
Comments are automatically closed two weeks after an article's initial publication. See our comments policy for more.

Advertisement

The latest from america

Cardinal Theodore E. McCarrick, retired archbishop of Washington, is pictured in a 2017 photo (CNS photo/Bob Roller) 
The case shows the mystifying complexity of the human person—or at least this human person.
James Martin, S.J.July 16, 2018
A front-page article published July 16 detailed the alleged abuse of two seminarians in the Diocese of Metuchen, New Jersey, by then-Bishop Theodore E. McCarrick.
Elsie Fisher (photo: A24)
Bo Burnham’s new movie is a joyous reminder that 13 is not, in fact, the best year of your life.
John AndersonJuly 16, 2018
A couple gets married in Stockholm, Sweden, in this 2013 file photo. (CNS photo/Fredrik Sandberg, EPA) 
“The right of Catholics to express disagreement with their leaders is a right as old as Peter and Paul.”
The EditorsJuly 16, 2018