For the young woman who considers herself well read and freethinking (guilty as charged), Jane Austen’s novels of manners are hard to resist. Not only because they are clever and humorous, but also because they feature heroines who are multifaceted, independent, intelligent and romantically desirable.
Who among us has read Pride and Prejudice and not imagined ourselves in Elizabeth Bennet’s place: loved by the handsome and rich Mr. Darcy not in spite of our complicated nature but because of it.
Many fewer of us, I would guess, have escaped into the depths of an Austen novel to place ourselves in the shoes of Mary Bennet, the middle sister of the five Bennet girls. She is described as the most plain of her sisters, studious but possessing no “genius nor taste.” Her most memorable scene in Pride and Prejudice is at the Netherfield Ball, when she poorly sings and performs complicated piano tunes in a desperate and misguided attempt to gain some attention.
Austen grants Mary no romance in the novel. The only glimpse we have of Mary’s fate comes from James Edward Austen-Leigh’s A Memoir of Jane Austen, as Jane Austen reportedly told her nieces and nephews that “Mary obtained nothing higher than one of her uncle Phillips’s clerks, and was content to be considered a star in the society of Meryton.” Mary’s story is clearly no romantic fantasy, and she is hardly the aspirational heroine of escapist daydreams.
But maybe Mary can offer us a different kind of hope. This spring, BritBox released “The Other Bennet Sister,” a 10-episode series that places Mary Bennet in the spotlight and follows her own journey towards finding happiness. (Recently, showmakers have announced that Mary Bennet will return for a three-episode Christmas special.) The show is based on a 2020 novel by the same name, written by Janice Hadlow. Mary is still socially awkward, stubborn—more than a bit of a know-it-all. But played endearingly by Ella May Bruccoleri, Mary is also sensitive and sincere, deeply desiring meaningful familial, platonic and eventually romantic connections.
A brief warning: This review does not give away the ending, but it does spoil some details and plot points from the show.
Mary is pursued by multiple suitors throughout the film, all of whom seem earnestly charmed by her, quirks and all. There are moments when all the romantic interest Mary receives seems a bit unrealistic: She is still unfashionable, clumsy, lacking grace and an understanding of social queues. The notion that Mary would be such a black sheep in her family and such a popular figure in the London social scene feels somewhat incongruous.
But the show seems to argue that in a society defined by manners, it is Mary’s authenticity and honesty that make her a desirable conversationalist and companion. Her affinity for dresses that are out of style, or her interest in obscure geological and historical topics, might scare some away. But for others, like the competing love interests Charles Ryder and Tom Hayward, her choices reveal her extraordinary commitment to pursuing what she likes and who she is.
It is refreshing to see a woman who is not glamorous or graceful being pursued on television. Though we may all daydream about being one of the Elizabeth Bennets of the world—charming, witty, beautiful—most of us will find ourselves relating more intimately with Mary’s struggle to look, talk and act like you are told you should when it does not come naturally. It feels important to show that a woman like Mary is both capable and deserving of great admiration and deep love.
But while Mary’s journey towards marriage is an important part of “The Other Bennet Sister,” the show makes it clear that the success of Mary’s story comes before that step—it arrives alongside her ability to find peace and happiness through internal acceptance.
Mary spends much of the earlier parts of the show searching for external approval. She works hard to please her mother, a thankless and seemingly impossible task. She cowers before mockery at the hands of her sisters and cruel society members. Her confidence is easily shaken, and her hopes for herself are easily crushed. The issue is not that Mary is seen as undesirable by others; that is an inevitability for all of us at times. It is that she sees herself as undesirable—and even worse, believes that only by being desirable to others can she be happy or feel valuable.
Mary undergoes a makeover of sorts throughout the show, but it is not one related to physical appearance or style. By the end of the series, she is still wearing spectacles alongside her unfashionable dresses. She has not changed her hair, has not started wearing jewelry. She still spends her days reading dense books that many would find dull. But she has grown: opened herself up to being moved by poetry and romance; allowed herself to have fun and be playful; seen new parts of the world and overcome danger; defied her controlling mother and stood up for herself; pursued a job that she likes in a city that makes her feel free. It is Mary’s self-acceptance and her internal happiness that allows her to open herself up to marriage, not the other way around.
There is a very poignant message to be found in Mary Bennet’s journey. We all have room to grow, and we should want to change for the better. But no matter where we start and where we finish, our innate dignity and value is never a question. And true growth will not come from trying to become beautiful or worthy of others’ affection; it will come by realizing you already are.
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