Sibling saints: What we can learn from Benedict and Scholastica

A Reflection for the Memorial of St. Scholastica, Virgin

Find today’s readings here.

Despite our ongoing interest in the lives of the saints, there is one aspect of their identity and experience that we don’t typically hear much about: their siblings. 

Today is the feast day of St. Scholastica, who is evidently a bit of an exception to this rule, and for good reason. Her brother, St. Benedict of Nursia, is also a saint. 

Benedict studied in Rome before governing a monastery, while Scholastica founded a religious community for women just a few miles away from where her brother resided. But despite each fostering their own faith, the two never stopped bringing each other closer to God. 

It’s said that the siblings would visit each other once a year, spending a day praying and discussing spiritual matters. They had spent one such day together when Scholastica began to sense that her death was drawing near. She asked Benedict to stay with her, even though doing so would violate a principle of his monastic life. When he refused, citing the rules, Scholastica prayed to God and suddenly an overwhelming thunderstorm erupted, preventing Benedict from leaving. 

My favorite part of this story is the reported dialogue between the two. “God forgive you, sister! What have you done?” he said, when the rain came down. In response, Scholastica told him that since he had denied the favor she asked of him, she asked God for one instead, which he granted. What ensued was a night of discussion and companionship, with Scholastica passing away the next morning. 

I enjoy this story, partly because it reminds me of a conversation I might actually have with my own brother, in very different circumstances. Me asking him to do something, him refusing, me getting my way regardless and him complaining about it, just for me to prove why I was right the whole time…. We may not be sixth-century consecrated religious, but it’s a sibling story I recognize. 

Yet this story feels true in an even more important way. Siblings are not afraid to tell us when we’re being stubborn and need to be reminded of our own humility, like Scholastica showing her brother that God knows better than he does. In healthy sibling relationships, there is an underlying sense of unconditional love that is stronger than any singular tense moment or point of disagreement. This bond allows us to challenge each other without ever questioning the depth of care between us. 

In today’s Gospel, Jesus acts with a similarly candid attitude. He calls out those who get so caught up in tradition and custom that they favor superficial rituals over the essence of God’s commands. 

We all do this sometimes: start to think we know best, start to fixate on the wrong things, ignore the pressing needs of those right in front of us due to more trivial preoccupations. 

But while we should use Jesus’ correction as an opportunity to self-reflect, we should not feel derided or belittled by his call-outs. If Scholastica didn’t love Benedict, she wouldn’t have asked God to make him stay. If Jesus didn’t love us, he would let us disregard God’s commandment without a care. 

But he does love us—enough to catch us when we’re veering off the road and guide us back in the right direction.

• Facebook
• X
• Mail