Overview:

The Memorial of Sts. Timothy and Titus, Bishops

A Reflection for the Memorial of St. Timothy and Titus, Bishops

“I recall your sincere faith
That first lived in your grandmother Lois
And in your mother Eunice
And that I am confident lives also in you.”

Find today’s readings here.

“Why do you want to get married in the church?”

It’s a question I was asked by lots of different people in the months leading up to our October wedding. I think it almost always came from a place of genuine curiosity, even if the asker wouldn’t have made the same decision had they been in our place. 

It’s no secret that many people my age who get married in the church do so largely because it’s important to their family. Maybe the bride and groom no longer attend Mass regularly or even consider themselves religious, but their parents or grandparents want and expect them to receive the sacrament of matrimony. (Nothing wrong with that—Catholics of different faith experiences should be equally welcome to be married in the church if they choose it.)

We never haggled with our parents about our ceremony; my husband and I met as two college students involved in campus ministry, and our parish community here in New York is a staple in our lives. We always knew we would get married in the Catholic Church, and there are lots of reasons for that. But when I was asked that fateful question (why?) in marriage preparation with our friend and celebrant, I was surprised when some of the first words out of my mouth were about family.

One of the options for the first reading today is the second Pauline letter to Timothy, in which Paul encourages a young man whom he considers a kind of mentee. Timothy was the first bishop of Ephesus in present-day Turkey, and Paul’s letters to him contain particular and valuable advice for an early church leader. In this selection of the second letter, Paul introduces himself and his relationship to Timothy (“my dear child”) before he goes on to offer some spiritual urging and encouragement. That ultimate piece of the letter is quite the pep talk: It includes tidbits like “God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control,” and “bear your share of hardship for the Gospel with the strength that comes from God.”

But between introduction and exhortation, Paul includes some important (and moving) context; he says something about the lineage from which Timothy’s faith has come.

“I recall your sincere faith
That first lived in your grandmother Lois
And in your mother Eunice
And that I am confident lives also in you.”

It’s amazing that we know the names and contributions of these women in Timothy’s family who passed their faith on to him; so striking must their spiritual fervor have been to the letter-writer for him to give them such credit. And how beautiful that centuries later, so many of us can say the same—that sincere faith lived in our mothers and grandmothers, and because of them that faith lives on in us.

When I thought about why I wanted to get married in the church, it was because of the centrality of God’s love in my life—but that faith foundation isn’t something I built on my own. As my husband and I conferred the sacrament upon each other on our wedding day, I looked out and laid eyes on my own Lois and Eunice, and I looked behind them and saw professors and mentors and aunts and uncles and friends and colleagues. I looked on the altar and saw concelebrants who work with me but whom I also consider friends and role models. Each of these people modeled for me that sincere faith of which Paul speaks, and it’s because of them that God’s love has been—and has remained—visible to me. As we received the graces of the sacrament that day, we shared that moment with them, and we called to mind the vital truth that we didn’t find God’s love and light all on our own.

Paul, too, is sharing the faith, passing it on to Timothy, encouraging him to commit more fervently and consider more deeply. Thanks to the act of letter-writing, we read his message thousands of years later and know: Not only do we have a responsibility to bear hardship for the Gospel, but the strength to do so comes from God—and from his children he has so lovingly and generously placed in our life’s path.

Molly Cahill is an associate editor at America. She was a 2020-2021 O'Hare Fellow.