Learning from my younger self this Advent

A Reflection for Thursday of the Third Week of Advent

Find today’s readings here.

As a kid, the readings during Advent always felt special. I locked into the readings during that time of year since I knew they would precede Christmas festivities with relatives and friends, filled with delicious food, games, traditions and fun gifts. While my mind often wandered during other times of year during mass, I did my best to keep my young mind focused in anticipation of the holiday. 

Joseph deciding to embrace the angel’s call in today’s Gospel is one of the images that always stood out the most to me. My young self, who was worried about ending up on the nice list before Christmas, felt like he could relate to Joseph’s struggle to listen to God’s message. Obviously, I had my priorities straight. 

As I’ve grown older, I relate more and more to Joseph in this passage. I might no longer be as concerned with a spot on the nice list, but I do worry about listening to God’s message. Although it might not be fathering his only son, sometimes God does call us in a direction that goes against social convention or authority. Accepting this call is often difficult and it can be a challenge to make the right choice in these moments. 

My younger self may not have wanted to do the dishes after dinner, but he knew that it was the right thing to do (and if it helped Santa bring a few more gifts then he wouldn’t complain). Today, it feels like those decisions were very small, yet I can’t help but feel inspired by myself from all those years ago. The drive to make the decision God wants for us in spite of whatever social repercussions it might have has become necessary in a world that feels more and more apathetic.

As Christmas approaches in just a week, I feel a new sense of excitement. The apathy that can be easy to fall into feels less profound in a season categorized by joy and hope. 

Still, I try to learn from my younger self as well. 

When I was a kid, the season’s inspiration was very temporary. Unlike Joseph in today’s Gospel who would live with his decision to stay, my decisions around Christmas tended to come and go. I did the dishes but only because of the gifts that could possibly come as a result of the chores I was doing. Now as an adult, that same reward doesn’t come as clearly.

God isn’t always going to reward us for listening to his call, at least not in the same transactional way that I expected Christmas gifts. But God also expects a longer devotion. We may not be called to foster his child, but Joseph’s acceptance of God’s call is something that should inspire us to move beyond the transactional conventions that have become synonymous with the holiday season. 

These Advent readings still hold a deeply special place in my heart, but like my relationship with the season, their content and symbols now serve to inspire me long beyond just four weeks.

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