Listeners to “The Spiritual Life” podcast frequently ask questions about spiritual direction. First, people ask, “What is it?” My usual answer is that a spiritual director is a person who helps you notice where God is active in your prayer and in your daily life. Most readers and subscribers of America Media may be familiar with spiritual direction, but for a great many Catholics and Christians this topic is cloaked in mystery—and not the good kind of mystery.
That is one reason I was delighted to speak with my good friend and Jesuit brother Patrick Gilger, S.J., on the latest episode of the podcast. (Everyone calls him Paddy.) Before we go any further, I want to explain this particular episode, which will look, sound and “feel” different from the other episodes we have aired. Paddy’s conversation was, in a sense, a “test run” for the podcast, the very first that we recorded, several months ago. You’ll notice we’re not even wearing our Roman collars. But I found it to be so rich and helpful that we decided to air it along with all the other episodes, and with the video, even sans our clerical garb.
Besides being a close friend, Paddy is a priest of the Midwest Province of the Society of Jesus and assistant professor in the Department of Sociology at Loyola Chicago University. A graduate of Creighton University, he entered the Jesuits in 2002. In 2021, he received his Ph.D. in sociology from the New School for Social Research in New York. Today his primary studies are in social theory, the sociology of religion and secularity. Paddy is also, along with America’s editor in chief Sam Sawyer, S.J., and Eric Sundrup, S.J., one of the founders of The Jesuit Post website.
But it is not so much as a professor of sociology that he joined us on the podcast, but as a spiritual director, who is able to speak knowledgeably about prayer and spiritual direction. And I know from hearing from some of his “directees,” as they are called, that he is a superb director. I hesitate to say that our conversation will answer all your questions about spiritual direction, but I bet it will answer most of them.
One of the most common questions is: How do I find a spiritual director? It can be frustrating for people to hear constantly about how important spiritual direction is and then have no clue how to find a director. So let me offer some tips, expanding on what Paddy and I discuss in our conversation.
First, the most important thing is to find someone who is trained. St. Teresa of Ávila famously said that if she had to choose between someone who was wise and holy, she would pick wise. But when it comes to spiritual direction, wisdom—that is, knowledge plus experience—is important. Spiritual direction is not only an art, but also a skill that one needs to be trained in. Many years ago, I saw a priest who was renowned for his holiness but who turned out to be a pretty bad director. It was a frustrating experience to see him every month and have him say, “keep on praying” and not much more. Again, he was a holy man but not especially helpful when it came to finding God in my prayer and daily life.
So get someone who has been trained, preferably for a long time, and who has at least some experience. (A good spiritual director will readily tell you where they trained.) It is something akin to choosing a doctor: Do you want one who can run a marathon but who knows very little about modern medicine, or do you want one who might be a little overweight but knows his or her stuff?
Second, a good place to start your search is a retreat house. The members of the retreat house staff may not only be possible directors, but they will also have contact with directors in the area. Retreat houses often have a kind of “stable” of directors they call upon for help in directing retreats. So they are good clearinghouses for local directors. Sometimes they might even be able to help “match” you to a good director.
Third, ask around. Ask friends you trust to recommend a person who they use (or have heard is good). Again, you want someone who is trained!
Finally, there are a number of resources online, including the lists at Spiritual Directors International and, closer to home (at least for me) the Office of Ignatian Spirituality on the USA Jesuits East website.
Paddy and I talk about a great deal more than simply how to find a director. Our conversation ranges widely, over prayer, consolation and desolation, and what we Jesuits call “discernment of spirits.” And if it encourages you to pray more often (or in a new way) all the better. And if you’re inclined to find a spiritual director, tell them Paddy and Jim sent you!
Correction, Oct. 22, 2025: A previous version of this article reversed the terms in St. Teresa of Ávila’s statement that if she had to choose between a spiritual director who was wise or holy, she would choose one who was wise.
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