A 30-something African-American man standing outside the U.S. Capitol, talking to his wife: From slavery to this…

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Guard: I’m sorry, you can’t check books out of the Library of Congress.

    Visitor: But I brought my library card. 

Guard: It’s not that kind of library. 

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Joe Biden once hit on my best friend.   

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I read that since Obama won Bush has started drinking again. 

    Yeah, Dad, but that was in the same magazine as the three-headed alien, so it may not be too reliable.  

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Wouldn’t it be great to see those photographs that Malia has been taking?

 

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On the phone: Yeah, we got into the concert. It was great…. No, I couldn’t see anything.  

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This is really Delaware’s year. 

 

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Most frequent: What time are you getting in line? 

 

Jim McDermott writes about pop culture at jimmcdermott.substack.