Welcome to March Madness! The post-Super Bowl lull in the sports calendar is over: College basketball’s biggest stage is back to make all your winter woes go away and tank your productivity at the office. While you get your second monitor set up for permanent hoops viewing, our robust sports analytics department here at America has been burning the midnight oil to bring to you the definitive Catholic insight on the seven Catholic schools competing in this year’s men’s tournament.
You’ll have to go elsewhere for analysis of the whole tournament: Our interests here are more parochial. Which is not to say we don’t have our secular favorites; for example, the University of Texas might get a nod or two simply for having a player named Jordan Pope. Also, it’s the day after St. Patrick’s Day, and judging from the mess here in New York, we think some of our friendly neighbors in midtown might have spent yesterday celebrating Duke star Cameron Boozer.
Two disclaimers: First, we’re not gonna lie, we are rather biased toward certain particularly holy programs sponsored by the sons of St. Ignatius, so take our analysis with a grain of salt. There’s a preferential option for Jesuits around these parts. Second, we have serious concerns about the ubiquity and influence of online gambling, and are not promoting anything more than a little fun. Thomas Aquinas tells us that a little gambling now and then might contribute to “eutrapelia,” that is, knowing how to let down your hair a bit, but as always, all things in moderation.
That being said, let’s get to our Catholic hopefuls. It’s a down year for the papists at first look, to be honest. Some traditional powerhouses are missing, and some of the Cinderellas…well, there’s no slipper in the world that will fit those feet.
Gonzaga University, Spokane, Wash. (seeded No. 3 in the West); West Coast Conference; religious sponsor: Jesuits; regular season record: 30-3.
This team is officially known as the Bulldogs, but informally often as the “Zags.” It is said that the Georgetown Hoyas—another school with a bulldog as a mascot—got their nickname from an ancient Greek and Latin phrase for “what rocks,” describing their stalwart defense. So too is “Zags” derived from an Attic Greek term describing their performance over the last two decades: “We never win the big one.”
This team is to N.C.A.A. men’s basketball what the University of Notre Dame is to men’s college football. Consistently overrated to start the season, they run up a great record (27 straight tournament appearances!)…and never actually grab the brass ring. This year will be no exception.
Yes, they have Graham Ike, the West Coast Conference Player of the Year. Yes, they have been at the top of every recruiting list for decades. And yes, they are once again among the top seeds. They even get a boost from their chaplain, Bryan Pham, S.J., and his laudable activism against private prisons.
But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m no longer betting on Gonzaga men’s basketball past the Sweet Sixteen. Despite boasting a strong 30-3 record in a top 10 basketball conference, it will be a pleasant surprise if head coach Mark Few gets past the fellow heartbreak kids and offensive powerhouse Purdue Boilermakers to reach the Elite Eight.
St. John’s University, Queens, N.Y. (seeded No. 5 in the East); Big East Conference; religious sponsor: Vincentians; regular season record: 28-6.
Honestly, this team should have been seeded higher, because they’re going places. This Red Storm squad is following up on a year when they went 31-5 before getting bounced from the big dance early last March. This year, they won the rough, tough Big East tournament for the second year in a row, beating UConn in the final by 20 points. And UConn is still a No. 2 seed in the N.C.A.A. tournament!
Big East Player of the Year Zuby Ejiofor leads this team, but we like Bryce Hopkins too, in part because he was Illinois High School Basketball Player of the Year in his last year at Fenwick High School in Oak Park—the only high school in the United States owned and operated by the Dominican Order.
We’re taking the Red Storm as our best bet to go the furthest in the tournament this year. The No. 5 seed has never pulled off a national championship, but why not Rick Pitino’s squad as the first?
Saint Mary’s College, Moraga, Calif. (seeded No. 7 in the South); West Coast Conference; religious sponsor: Christian Brothers; regular season record: 27-5.
The W.C.C. sent three teams to the tournament this year, the final season in which Gonzaga will participate; the Bulldogs are joining the Pac-12 next year for 30 pieces of silver and a new Xbox for Adam Morrison.
Among the perpetual bridesmaids in a conference Gonzaga has dominated for a quarter century, St. Mary’s is nevertheless no flash in the pan. They’ve won more than 20 games in 19 of the last 20 seasons, and this year marks their 11th appearance in March Madness during those years. Head coach Randy Bennett has been at the helm in Moraga for 25 years.
His biggest star this year is Lithuanian wonder Paulius Murauskas, who is averaging close to 18 and 9. But we also have a soft spot for guard Joshua Dent, who continues a long Gaels tradition of players hailing from Australia…and also kind of looks like the world’s most oversized altar boy.
Villanova University, Pa. (seeded No. 8 in the West); Big East Conference; religious sponsor: Augustinians; regular season record: 24-8.
Probably the closest thing to a Catholic blue blood in college basketball (sorry Georgetown, but you’ve struggled mightily since the end of the John Thompson era), the three-time national champions will be looking to win their second title as a No. 8 seed, the first coming back against Georgetown in 1985. However, their run will need to be in the West Region through the second-best team in the country, the Arizona Wildcats, which will not make it easy. Playing a No. 1 seed is never an easy task—No. 1 seeds are 61-16 all time against No. 8 seeds—and the Wildcats v. Wildcats matchup would be a rough one for Nova, assuming they can even get out of the first round.
Villanova is not peaking as they enter the big dance. The final look the selection committee got of the Wildcats was a dismal showing against Georgetown, the worst team in the Big East this year, that resulted in an early exit from the conference tournament.
Still, Nova does have one special advantage that no other team in N.C.A.A. history has ever had: The current pope is a graduate. Enough said. Perhaps divine intervention is just what the Wildcats need.
Saint Louis University, Mo. (seeded No. 9 in the Midwest); Atlantic 10 Conference; religious sponsor: Jesuits; regular season record: 28-5.
Our second Jesuit team in the tournament is the Saint Louis Billikens. What is a Billiken, you may ask? According to online sources we would never use otherwise, it is a “charm doll” created by a Kansas City artist; it has “monkey-like” features, a “mischievous smile” and a “tuft of hair” atop its pointed head. It is also the most disquietingly terrifying sports mascot we’ve ever seen, and one of us comes from a state that features a team called the Banana Slugs.
So how is their basketball team? Pretty good, in fact. Their 28-5 regular season campaign landed them as the top team in the A-10, and while they did not take home the championship (that would be No. 11 seed V.C.U.), they pulled down an at-large bid that leaves them facing No. 8 Georgia. Being the lower seed in their first round match-up might provide an advantage though, with No. 9 seeds winning 52 percent of their contests against No. 8 seeds. It’s anyone’s game.
After that? Well, anything is possible, and 6-foot-10 senior Robbie Avila’s Rec Specs do inspire confidence. The team also boasts a 12th best in the nation 87.2 points per game on a balanced attack, so Georgia’s defense has their work cut out for them. Fingers crossed for our midwestern Jebbies.
Santa Clara University, Calif. (seeded No. 10 in the Midwest); West Coast Conference; religious sponsor: Jesuits; regular season record: 26-8.
This is the first time the Santa Clara Broncos have made the tourney since 1996. To give you a sense of how long ago that was, scientists think that is when the dinosaurs finally succumbed to climate change and Steve Nash roamed the court.
But Herb Sendek was named Coach of the Year for the W.C.C., and the Broncos had three players make all-W.C.C.: freshman Allen Graves, sophomore Christian Hammond and senior Elijah Mahi. Mahi is known for its large, flaky meat that is lean and nutritious, though lower in omega-3 fatty acids than salmon, and…wait what’s this? Mahi and Graves have both been mentioned as having N.B.A. potential.
Santa Clara won’t have an easy path, with a first-round matchup against the Kentucky Wildcats, but we’re W.C.C. stans here at America and think we’ve got a sleeper on our hands.
Siena College, N.Y. (seeded No. 16 in the East); Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference; religious sponsor: Franciscans; regular season record: 23-11.
Poor No. 16 seeds. Happy just to be here thanks to a low-tier conference title, they are always overlooked, but that can play to their advantage if they catch a sleeping giant. Only two teams have pulled off the first round upset: the University of Maryland, Baltimore County Retrievers and the Fairleigh Dickinson University Knights. Both have done so in the last 10 years, so maybe the odds aren’t as insurmountable as they once were.
The Saints have had a historic year for their program. Led by 6-foot-5 sophomore Gavin Doty, a finalist for the Lou Henson Mid-Major Player of the Year Award, the Saints are dancing for the first time in 16 years. After going 4-28 in the 2023-24 season, the team has had a dramatic turnaround under second-year head coach Gerry McNamara.
But will the Saints keep marching in? They’ll have to get past the overall No. 1 seed Duke in the first round. They might find some hope in the fact that two Blue Devils starters, Patrick Ngongba and Caleb Foster, missed the Atlantic Coastal Conference tournament with injuries. Still, star first-team All-American Cameron Boozer, son of former N.B.A. All-Star Carlos Boozer, held down the fort to bring home the A.C.C. title despite the weakened roster, leaving the Saints with a steep hill to march up.
Who’s going to shock us?
Saint Mary’s. And maybe Villanova.
Who’s going to go the furthest?
St. John’s.
Who’s going to win the whole tournament?
Everyone says Duke. Get thee behind us, Blue Devils. We say Arizona, and are keeping an eye on Michigan. Wolverines!
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