Oh God, who do I root for now?

Should I pick the German team from the native land of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI? Or root for the Argentinian squad from the homeland of Pope Francis? Do I go for the Latin American or the Bavarian Catholics?

Maybe I need to go to confession for scrupulosity. I can hear myself now. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been four days since my last World Cup game.”

What?!

“Yes. I took the World Cup in vain five times this week. I cheated on my team with another. I lied about Brazil’s offense.”

Say three Our Fathers and three Hail Marys. Go in peace.

Tick tock, tick tock. Time is running out to make up my mind. Just when I had started to forget that there are two living popes, or least one reigning pope and one former pope, I must now confess to the worst doubt of all: Which team popes better in the World Cup?

Victory will proceed from the Father, through the Son, and in the Holy Spirit.

I don’t know what to make of it all. If Germany wins, is it a sign from God that Pope Benedict XVI is the überpope? Is God calling me to root for the compassionate Jesuit pastor from my own religious order, or the German professor who puts on his pants one leg at a time and then writes bestselling books?

Perhaps the two popes will even watch Sunday’s final game together. Will Benedict sit there drinking beer out of a wolf’s head stein while Francis sips from a mug of yerbe mate through a straw? Who controls the remote during commercials?

Where will Archbishop Georg Gänswein, the former pope’s personal secretary, sit?

Some Catholics will want to know what Benedict is wearing to watch the game. Others will want to know if Francis makes any unscripted comments about the referees.

Prayers will be offered by fans on each side. The two popes may pray out loud together for a sportsmanlike game, adding silently that the best team—God knows the right one—should win.

Meanwhile, God will not publicly take any sides in the outcome, although he privately knows who the winner will be. Victory will proceed from the Father, through the Son, and in the Holy Spirit.

Although the saints usually blow trumpets before God’s throne, will they switch to vuvuzela horns for the duration of the game? Who is St. Ignatius Loyola rooting for?

Will this year’s result contribute to a greater sense of global solidarity in our common bond as creatures made in the image and likeness of God, suffering together in this vale of tears?

God only knows.

Sean Salai, S.J., is a summer editorial intern serving as associate editor at America.

Sean Salai is the author of What Would Pope Francis Do? Bringing the Good News to People in Need (Our SundayVisitor, 2016) and holds an M.A. in Applied Philosophy from Loyola University Chicago. He also holds a B.A. in History from Wabash College, which he attended on scholarship from the Indianapolis Star, and where as editor of the campus newsmagazine he won several Indiana Collegiate Press Association (ICPA) awards as well as a Wesley Pruden Investigative Journalism Award from the Leadership Institute in 2001. Before entering the Jesuits in 2005, he was a metro desk newspaper reporter for The Washington Times and the Boca Raton News, where his articles were picked up by the Drudge Report and other national media outlets. He taught theology and coached forensics at Jesuit High School of Tampa in 2010-2014.

His freelance writing has appeared in America, National Catholic Reporter, Catholic World Report, Busted Halo, Crisis Magazine, Civil War Book Review, Homiletic & Pastoral Review, the Magis Spirituality Center's Spiritual Exercises Blog and other publications. He has been a contributing editor on two reference works for the non-profit Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI) and his academic writing has appeared in three publications including the Heythrop Journal. He won two scholarships for outstanding collegiate journalism from the Washington DC-based American Alternative Foundation in 2001 and 2002. He is a graduate of the Institute on Political Journalism at Georgetown University, the Leadership Institute’s Student Publications School in Virginia, the Collegiate Network Foreign Correspondent Course in Prague, and several other journalism programs. His prior internship experience included The Washington Times national desk and Policy Review magazine at the Heritage Foundation.