A Want Gone Quiet

Once,
I was so lonely
that my father gave me doubt as a sibling.
As he found new gods
in a long needle and hot spoon,
I was given the company of denial,
and hugged Pop like buildings hug eviction notices. My mother bit her fists.
I kept still.
I do not cry for expectations met.
But now that he does not live above the sink
there is no naturality to his negligence.
There comes hungry emails,
kissed shut letters.
There is a fresh desperation
puppeteered by guilt.
It confuses me to no end.
It is as if he believes
I have saved a childhood for him.
As if I did not learn to tie my shoes
watching him tie off his arm.
How naive of my father to expect a welcome.
And how comforting to realize
that I am every part of unforgettable
he should never
have missed.

Once,/ I was so lonely/ that my father gave me doubt as a sibling.

Don't miss the best from America

Sign up for our Newsletter to get the Jesuit perspective on news, faith and culture.

The latest from america

Greg Hicks as "Richard III" (photo: Alex Brenner)
It would be fascinating were the producers able to arrange a quick transfer to a venue somewhere near the White House.
David StewartMay 26, 2017
In the hyper-curated, beautiful world that Dev lives in, a scene that conveys the touching, ugly stubbornness of marriage seems totally impossible.
Eloise BlondiauMay 26, 2017
This image released by the Minya governorate media office shows bodies of victims killed when gunmen stormed a bus in Minya, Egypt, Friday, May 26, 2017 (Minya Governorate Media office via AP).
The attack in central Egypt today killed at least 26 people, including children aged 2 to 4, and wounded 25 others.
Gerard O'ConnellMay 26, 2017
The data and facts are clear: If you care about working families and sound economic policy, SNAP is the program for you.
Meghan J. ClarkMay 26, 2017